doctor consultation with patient

Identifying Cognitive Issues: When and How to Approach Your Loved One's Doctor Legally and Ethically

Franklin Drazen

July 17, 2023

Cognitive decline is a challenging issue faced by many elderly individuals and their loved ones. Knowing when and how to step in can be emotionally difficult and legally complex. If you're noticing cognitive issues in a loved one, it may be time to consider involving their doctor. Here are a few points from our Milford, CT elder law attorneys to guide you in doing so ethically and legally.

Signs It May Be Time to Speak with a Doctor

  1. Memory Loss Affecting Daily Activities: Everyone forgets things occasionally, but if your loved one regularly struggles with tasks they once found easy, it may be a cause for concern.
  2. Difficulty with Familiar Tasks: Struggling with familiar routines, such as cooking a favorite meal or using a familiar device, can indicate a cognitive decline.
  3. Confusion with Time and Place: If your loved one frequently gets lost or disoriented, even in familiar settings, it may be time to consult a doctor.

A Difficult Transition: Mrs. Parker's Story

Mrs. Parker, a normally vibrant and organized woman, began forgetting appointments, misplacing items, and becoming confused about the date. Her son, James, noticed these changes and realized it might be time to involve her doctor.

How to Approach Your Loved One's Doctor Ethically and Legally

  1. Open a Dialogue with Your Loved One: It's important to communicate your concerns with your loved one first. This promotes trust and understanding. However, if they are resistant or if their safety is at risk, it may be necessary to speak with their doctor directly.
  2. Schedule an Appointment: It's often helpful to accompany your loved one to medical appointments. This allows you to share your observations with the doctor and ensure your loved one receives appropriate care.
  3. Maintain Confidentiality: It's crucial to respect your loved one's privacy and only share relevant information with those who need to know.
  4. Learn About Health Care Proxies: A healthcare proxy allows a designated individual to make medical decisions on behalf of someone if they cannot do so. If your loved one hasn't designated a healthcare proxy, it may be a good time to discuss this option.

The Power of Early Intervention: James's Decision

When James approached his mother about his concerns, Mrs. Parker was initially defensive but agreed to a doctor's appointment when he expressed his love and worry for her well-being. The doctor was able to diagnose early-stage Alzheimer's and create a care plan, thanks to James' intervention.

The ethical and legal complexities around cognitive decline can be overwhelming. But with careful observation, respectful communication, and the right legal guidance, you can ensure your loved one receives the best possible care.

If you need help navigating this situation or understanding your loved one's legal rights, our Milford elder law attorneys are here to assist you. Contact our Milford, CT law firm at 203-877-7511 and we’ll help you handle these challenging decisions.


Contact our elder law and estate planning lawyers in Milford and Hartford, Connecticut.

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